self color


paranoid star lover

you talk rich and that's your cover

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On friends and the interweb (A rare public entry)
self color
I have a hierarchy of online friendships. It goes roughly like this:


I don't go on Myspace often, if at all. But I will typically approve a friends request if the person seems vaguely familiar to me.
Facebook is generally where I friend all the people I'm acquainted with on a fairly extensive level--meaning we've spent time together at some point in time.
And livejournal. My livejournal friends list is reserved for any of several categories of people: a) people whom I do not know, but share multiple common interests with, and who're interested in reading about my life (and vise versa). These people have no connection to me other than livejournal, typically. b) people I know pretty well, and trust implicitly after years of friendship, and c) people whom I've met, immediately clicked with, and want to become closer to.

I value all of the above groups pretty highly, and the common theme among all of them is trust. With the first group, I can trust them not to judge me or use what I write against me because they have no idea who I am other than what I type. With the second, I've known them so long that I understand their character pretty well, and with the third, I take a risk and let them in in the hopes of fostering a better friendship.

If I choose not to friend you on livejournal, or if I de-friend you at some point in time, the issue at hand was probably related to trust. If you're one of the people I thought I knew well after an extensive friendship, but then you make sniping comments about me under your breath, or frequently filter me out of your journal entries, you'll probably get defriended. It doesn't mean I don't like you, or don't want to spend time with means I don't trust you to be inside my head, reading about my thoughts and dreams and desires and whatever else I choose to put on livejournal. If you are someone I'm acquainted with, and I don't friend you, it isn't because I harbor a secret hatred for you, just that I don't feel like I know you well enough to let you know me in this way. Yes, even if we have the same circle of friends and frequently see each other--that doesn't equate to closeness.

I don't think that any of the above is confusing or unfair. This is a forum for me to share things about myself that I don't normally feel comfortable sharing in other places.

In other words, this is my way of announcing that I'm doing a friends cut.
If you've been defriended, and feel like I was mistaken about you, I'm all about second chances.

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oh and I am still out here, lol I guess you know that at any rate. I love you babe and will always feel close to you...

Aww, you too! Even though you live a gazillion miles away... :(

Glad to have been spared the defriendage. :) I've met most of my LJ friends in person, and you're someone I'd very much like to sit down and have a proper chat with. With our mutual Oregon connections and penchant for debate, I imagine our paths will eventually cross. I certainly hope so.

I haven't done my friends cut yet, but I'm about to. I wouldn't dream of cutting you! Although we don't interact often, I think you're highly intelligent, interesting, and your opinions and thoughts are well-founded and considered.

I'd like to get to know you better. Many on my flist are reconsidering their involvement in LJ. I use filters only when I am discussing a controversial subject that not all would be interested in reading (drugs and sex being two examples), and some of my entries are completely private, for my eyes alone. I really love and value being able to keep up with friends through LJ, which is one reason I recently got a paid account. I never cared about public posts until I realized I had 279 of them that I'd rather some people didn't see.

It would be tough but not impossible for anyone I know that isn't already on my flist to find me at this point. I'll discuss the reasons behind that in a post to the revised flist - and you'll be on it. :)

Also, you should e-mail me with your IM name if you have one. We can then have a chat but I'd also like to introduce you to my boyfriend, who's a superstar grad of your uni and previously worked at what may be the same exact store that you do. :) I know you'd hit it off famously with him. He's not on LJ, but he knows of my involvement and is a chatty lad. The two of you have much in common.

Ahhh, synchronicity, a funny thing.

Haha, wow. It's like our lives cosmically connect. Crazy. (PS, don't worry, there's no way I'm cutting you, I like you too much.)

My AIM is heroicfailure97. :)

So Joe said that you have a LJ and I since i Helped him with his, you should add me as your friend as well!

Its Joelle BTW!

Haha, well, be prepared to be bored by all of my myriad health problems.

Added. :)

Hi. I found you through random livejournaling and thought I would add you.

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